


Sleepless

by PinkleFairy



Series: Inspired by Fanart [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Insomnia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 04:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12741114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkleFairy/pseuds/PinkleFairy
Summary: "Alec has had more than one sleepless night in his twenty-two years of life"Inspired byAnna's (@A_entchen)fanart in twitter





	Sleepless

Alec has had more than one sleepless night in his twenty-two years of life. He had spent a lot of nights doing extra training, trying to hone his archery skills and trying to keep up with Jace in hand to hand combat. Some nights he spent awake while waiting for his sister Isabelle to return from one of her secret dates - thirteen-year-old Izzy almost gave him gray hairs. He had also spent a lot of sleepless nights fighting his own inner demons.

Alec had spent more than one night sitting alone in his room, trying to rationalize his feelings, trying to convince himself that his heart rate increased because Jace was simply too fast and he had to work extra hard to land a hit, or trying to convince himself that his lack of interest in women was because he saw them as equals, as comrades, and so it was impossible to foster feelings for those you worked with. Isabelle quickly called him out on that and said it was bullshit because "Shadowhunters had been fighting and getting married for generations, idiot." Fourteen-year-old Isabelle could have really used a filter.

He spent many nights letting his anger out on a punching bag because he wasn't attracted to men, and he was not attracted to his Parabatai since he was thirteen. He was also most definitely not jealous of this red haired little girl who seemed to have Jace's attention and who caused more than one argument between them. Alec had exhausted himself until he passed out on his bed still in his training gear, and he had woken up to the sting of alcohol on his knuckles because Izzy refused to use an iratze when he was being a dipshit - her exact words.

For weeks Alec had spent night after night wandering the streets of New York with the excuse of being on patrol because telling himself that he had wanted to see Magnus Bane again since the night he met him was ridiculous. There was no way he would be developing feelings for...for a downworlder. A Lightwood and a Warlock? "Don't be absurd, Izzy."

"I'm not being absurd, I'm looking at things objectively." she said while leaning over the table. She expanded the map of Bushwick, not bothering to glance at Alec, "We have reports of several small businesses being targeted by a rogue vampire gang." Isabelle sighed and placed a hand on her necklace, "All work and no play makes Alec a dull boy. I'll lead the team, you go for a walk." Alec huffed and mumbled something about annoying little sisters and not being dull or a boy. Nevertheless, he stayed behind.

That was the first night Alec let himself be led by these new emotions bubbling inside of him all the way to Greenpoint. He raised his hand once, twice, took a step back then a deep breath before raising his hand a third time, softly knocking on the dark mahogany door. Part of him prayed no one was home, then he could tell himself it was a stupid idea. But another part hoped he could find all his answers here. Just as he was about to leave he heard shuffling followed by a loud hiss, "No one tells you to sleep by the fucking door!" Magnus yelled. Alec swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry, "You better be dying of demon pox otherwise I will kill you my-" The rest of the sentence died as soon as he opened the door. "Oh my," said Magnus leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed in a confident yet relaxed stance that made Alec's pulse quicken, "What brings you here at three twenty-five in the morning, Shadowhunter?"

Alec lost his ability to form words, all his brain could process was that Magnus was standing in front of him wearing nothing but a cropped shirt and pink shorts. His eyes stopped right under the hem of the tiny shirt where his tanned skin was exposed. He felt a wave of emotions hit him hard, knocking the air out of him with a force far greater than any of Jace's punches. Alec looked up at Magnus, eyes wide and wild and so confused. Magnus saw the turmoil in Alec's eyes, the internal fight taking place outside his door, "Why don't you come in and have some tea, my dearest friend Catarina sent me this amazing chamomile and peppermint tea blend."

Many more sleepless nights followed after that, some due to the war, others due to his new relationship with Magnus, plenty of them mourning the loss of his loved ones, his comrades. The responsibility of being the new Head of the Institute was a heavy weight on his shoulders though never a burden. The added responsibility chased sleep away. Alec had gone from feeling and experiencing almost nothing to not understanding his own emotions to maturing fast, loving hard, and wanting and having so much all at once.

After the war came a period of relative peace but Alec had seen too much and that kept him up at night. The fear of another war was still there, prickling at his skin whenever he felt a shift in the air. His bow and seraph blade were always close by and ready for any emergency. He was woken up by an ambulance somewhere in the distance, beside him Magnus slept soundly. He walked to the balcony and inhaled the crisp autumn air, wishing he could put all his anxieties to rest but it was hard, his duty was to protect, and he felt like he failed on many occasions, he wondered if he would fail again, if he would be able to protect his city, his family, his love.

A pair of familiar arms embraced him from behind, "Alexander, why are you out here? You're getting cold."

Alec closed his eyes, relaxing in Magnus' arms, "Did I wake you?"

"I reached for you and you weren't there, but that wasn't my question."

Alec couldn't help but smile, he will never be able to dodge Magnus' questions, "I couldn't sleep." Magnus waited for a more detailed answer, "I was thinking..."

Magnus never pushed him to say more, always giving Alec the choice to confide in him or to keep his thoughts all to himself until he was ready. Alec loved him for that, loved his selflessness, his willingness to risk everything for what was right, loved his wisdom, his empathy and above all he loved Magnus because Magnus loved him, loved his imperfections, his flaws, loved him for who he was, loved all the things he had hated about himself. It was Magnus' love that taught him to love himself and be happy. "I'm afraid. Everything seems to be at peace, we are mending our relationships with the Downworlders, but I have this fear in the very back of my head and I know it's irrational but..."

Magnus right arm came around his waist, his hand traveling upwards and settling on Alec's chest, "Darling, the future is always uncertain, and we are at risk every day, it has been that way for centuries. There's no use in losing sleep over what ifs." The night breeze blew Magnus' robe open as he pulled Alec against him, his chest against his boyfriend's back, sharing their heat through their skin. Alec sighed, grabbing the hand on his chest and bringing it up to his lips, "You always know what to say."

Magnus hummed and placed a kiss on his nape, "I also know what to do."

Alec turned around and gave Magnus that crooked smile that meant mischief, "Do you now?" he asked while tugging at Magnus robe.

"Most definitely. I also have the perfect cure for insomnia. It involves a lot of... physical activity, then a hot bath, followed by a cup of tea - or a glass of whisky if you feel extra frisky - and ends with intense cuddling afterwards."

Alec dipped his head, trailing kisses along Magnus jaw until he reached his ear to whisper, "Rumor has it that Raphael got his hands on a bottle of Macallan 1926 at a downworld auction."

Alec would spend another sleepless night in the arms of his lover, glass half full of whiskey forgotten on Magnus' vanity, and fears replaced by courage. Courage to live, to trust, to give and to receive love and to look forward to tomorrow no matter how uncertain. For now, they had peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my darling [Kimmy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmy/profile) for reading this before I post and for being a munchkin.


End file.
